A radio drama produced in weekly installments by students from Ryerson University in Toronto, Canada, Bedfordshire University in England, and RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia. Subscribe to our podcast to catch every episode!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Episode 4
Here we have it, Episode 4 from RMIT produced by Ed Denton, Stephanie Powell and Jess Langmuir.
Hey you guys! It's Taylor here, I've gotta give some feedback so here it goes!
As far as the writing goes, I absolutely loved it - it took the story in an entirely new direction and can lead to millions of possibilities! It captured my interest the entire time. I found no problems with the writing whatsoever, but i was also wondering how it connected to episode 3... But maybe that's what you intended to do to lead to more possibilities, so what do i know!
The production and voice technique was also really well-done. The voice acting was awesome and it never felt corny or like anyone was trying too hard. The Londoners sounded perfect and i loved everything about the who! I did notice a little bit of distortion on the voices towards the end of the episode, like when she said "Wow". No biggie, but if you have trouble with it in the future, try turning your mouths away from the mic a little bit, or stepping back so you can get the shouting effects without the microphone distortion.
I hope i'm not sounding bitter or too mean or too Simon Cowell eh! I really really loved it and enjoyed it and can't wait for the next two eps :] Thanks for your time and production!
Hey guys, This is Rochelle and here's my feedback!
I thought the story was great. I see you've decided to just take the story down another stream. That was probably a good idea, the last few episodes were getting confusing with all the new characters being thrown in. I wasn't sure if Daniel, Trixie and Lori had been killed off by the rats also? I'm assuming from the line "It's too late for all of them" that they were. *sniff, I'm sad to see them go, but if they had to go to progress the story,then it had to be.
I liked the idea of the time-space portal in the cave. It's an unexpected crazy twist in the story but allows for so many new ideas. I wonder how the treasure hunting couple might use it as they were never adressed in this episode. I also can't wait to see how the light sabre fight at the end turns out!
As for your production, it sounded great. Your sound effects were good. They were appropriate to the situations and told the story well without being cheesy. For example I absolutely loved at the Who concert, your attention to detail. When they were outside of the venue, the music was muffled but you could still hear the beat, and I could tell when they actually stepped into the room because of the change in the e.q. I thought the choice of a piano was strange to signify a passing of time. I've never heard that before, so I had to think about what was going on. I dunno, maybe that's just a cultural difference though.
The voices I thought overall were clear and crisp. I though Lucy was kind of strange though. She sounded a little ditzy and spaced out. That could very well be how you wanted the character to sound, but I wasn't drawn to it.
Over all i think you did a great job. You were able to tighten up a story that was getting a little loose around the edges and also throw in great plot twists. I appreciated the attention to detail. Way to go, thanks and good luck with your semester.
p.s. was Lucy's name: Lucy Diamond, a reference to the song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?
Hi Ed here, i was on the team that produced episode four. I'll do my best to respond to your comments. When we got together and listened to the previous episodes we all thought that while the plot had potential it was becoming stagnant. Without wanting to seem too critical, up until the end of episode three basically all that had happened was a bit of hunting around in jamaica and a treasure hunt had begun. Due to the the time constraints of the story, i.e. a limited number of episodes, we thought it needed to be thrown around and shaken up a bit to kick start the story again. Perhaps if there were 20 or so episodes that we had to work with we could have explored that treasure hunt in Jamaica in greater detail but we were running out of episodes in the series and needed to give it a kick start. Plus by the time the story had bounced to us there were 9 odd characters with no real connection. We decided we needed to "cull" some characters and get out of jamaica and see where that leads. The whole point of the conversation between Sam and Esther about the others being savaged by rats, crushed by rocks and drowned in the water was a bit of an in-joke because it was meant to imply to the future bouncing story producers that the other characters were all dead and "there is NO WAY all those limbs will ever be able to be re-attached". Of course, we weren't trying to stifle the creativity of future episode but merely lead the story as best we could.
With regards to Lucy Diamond, yes it is meant to be a reference to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. And I'm glad you noticed the spaced out character she was because yes it was intentional. We were trying to get across the fact that they'd just found themselves in the middle of 60's flower-power hippie London. Her spaced out demeanor and the hippie playing his guitar and babbling along in the pub were meant to give this feeling. Perhaps we should have made this more clear but we didn't want to press the point to hard, we wanted the listeners to work it out from the way people spoke , the music, the language used, etc. Thanks for listening and commenting. Looking forward to seeing what happens next.
Writing: I thought the writing was very natural, and flowed very well. It was especially good considering I believed the fact that you traveled from a cave back in time flawlessly. I also thought it was really good that you described your surroundings so the listener can grasp and visualize the location. (ie. Describes the cobblestone ground, looking at the ladder, trap door etc.) Also it was really good that you described you were walking for a long time which portrayed the monotony of walking in the cave. Also it was great writing to include how the characters were feeling (as we don’t have a visual as to what they look like). I thought it was also good description of the demise of the former main characters, with the gory info of their limbs floating in the water. Ew! And lastly the ending left a great opening, and can be taken in a random direction again, so it’s a good cliffhanger!
Production and Voices: I thought the production was great! I loved the use of SFX when they transitioned from the cave to the street as it was very natural and I could actually picture the transition. I also liked that you incorporated popular music flawlessly into the setting. I also believe the voices were very crisp and clear and really worked for the production. The only suggestions I have are: the SFX for the rats sounded a little unnatural to me. I at first wasn’t sure if they were seagulls, but I caught on really quick that they were still the rats. And Sam’s voice got a little lost only one time at the beginning when the rats were screeching. Also when they get out of the cave and into 1963, the voice that is yelling at them sounds a little unnatural, as if they’re standing really close together. I think if you moved the person who was yelling further away from the microphone and actually had them yell, it would sound more natural.
Story: And overall the story was really good. There were some good jokes (ie. The Beatles are rubbish and won’t get anywhere) and the reference to Lucy Diamonds (and the Beatles). Once again great cliffhanger ending!
6 comments:
Hey you guys! It's Taylor here, I've gotta give some feedback so here it goes!
As far as the writing goes, I absolutely loved it - it took the story in an entirely new direction and can lead to millions of possibilities! It captured my interest the entire time. I found no problems with the writing whatsoever, but i was also wondering how it connected to episode 3... But maybe that's what you intended to do to lead to more possibilities, so what do i know!
The production and voice technique was also really well-done. The voice acting was awesome and it never felt corny or like anyone was trying too hard. The Londoners sounded perfect and i loved everything about the who! I did notice a little bit of distortion on the voices towards the end of the episode, like when she said "Wow". No biggie, but if you have trouble with it in the future, try turning your mouths away from the mic a little bit, or stepping back so you can get the shouting effects without the microphone distortion.
I hope i'm not sounding bitter or too mean or too Simon Cowell eh! I really really loved it and enjoyed it and can't wait for the next two eps :] Thanks for your time and production!
-tay
Hey guys,
This is Rochelle and here's my feedback!
I thought the story was great. I see you've decided to just take the story down another stream. That was probably a good idea, the last few episodes were getting confusing with all the new characters being thrown in. I wasn't sure if Daniel, Trixie and Lori had been killed off by the rats also? I'm assuming from the line "It's too late for all of them" that they were. *sniff, I'm sad to see them go, but if they had to go to progress the story,then it had to be.
I liked the idea of the time-space portal in the cave. It's an unexpected crazy twist in the story but allows for so many new ideas. I wonder how the treasure hunting couple might use it as they were never adressed in this episode. I also can't wait to see how the light sabre fight at the end turns out!
As for your production, it sounded great. Your sound effects were good. They were appropriate to the situations and told the story well without being cheesy. For example I absolutely loved at the Who concert, your attention to detail. When they were outside of the venue, the music was muffled but you could still hear the beat, and I could tell when they actually stepped into the room because of the change in the e.q. I thought the choice of a piano was strange to signify a passing of time. I've never heard that before, so I had to think about what was going on. I dunno, maybe that's just a cultural difference though.
The voices I thought overall were clear and crisp. I though Lucy was kind of strange though. She sounded a little ditzy and spaced out. That could very well be how you wanted the character to sound, but I wasn't drawn to it.
Over all i think you did a great job. You were able to tighten up a story that was getting a little loose around the edges and also throw in great plot twists. I appreciated the attention to detail. Way to go, thanks and good luck with your semester.
p.s. was Lucy's name: Lucy Diamond, a reference to the song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?
Hi Ed here, i was on the team that produced episode four. I'll do my best to respond to your comments. When we got together and listened to the previous episodes we all thought that while the plot had potential it was becoming stagnant. Without wanting to seem too critical, up until the end of episode three basically all that had happened was a bit of hunting around in jamaica and a treasure hunt had begun. Due to the the time constraints of the story, i.e. a limited number of episodes, we thought it needed to be thrown around and shaken up a bit to kick start the story again. Perhaps if there were 20 or so episodes that we had to work with we could have explored that treasure hunt in Jamaica in greater detail but we were running out of episodes in the series and needed to give it a kick start. Plus by the time the story had bounced to us there were 9 odd characters with no real connection. We decided we needed to "cull" some characters and get out of jamaica and see where that leads. The whole point of the conversation between Sam and Esther about the others being savaged by rats, crushed by rocks and drowned in the water was a bit of an in-joke because it was meant to imply to the future bouncing story producers that the other characters were all dead and "there is NO WAY all those limbs will ever be able to be re-attached". Of course, we weren't trying to stifle the creativity of future episode but merely lead the story as best we could.
With regards to Lucy Diamond, yes it is meant to be a reference to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. And I'm glad you noticed the spaced out character she was because yes it was intentional. We were trying to get across the fact that they'd just found themselves in the middle of 60's flower-power hippie London. Her spaced out demeanor and the hippie playing his guitar and babbling along in the pub were meant to give this feeling. Perhaps we should have made this more clear but we didn't want to press the point to hard, we wanted the listeners to work it out from the way people spoke , the music, the language used, etc. Thanks for listening and commenting. Looking forward to seeing what happens next.
Ed
Hello! I’m Gwen and here’s my feedback!
Writing:
I thought the writing was very natural, and flowed very well. It was especially good considering I believed the fact that you traveled from a cave back in time flawlessly. I also thought it was really good that you described your surroundings so the listener can grasp and visualize the location. (ie. Describes the cobblestone ground, looking at the ladder, trap door etc.) Also it was really good that you described you were walking for a long time which portrayed the monotony of walking in the cave. Also it was great writing to include how the characters were feeling (as we don’t have a visual as to what they look like). I thought it was also good description of the demise of the former main characters, with the gory info of their limbs floating in the water. Ew! And lastly the ending left a great opening, and can be taken in a random direction again, so it’s a good cliffhanger!
Production and Voices:
I thought the production was great! I loved the use of SFX when they transitioned from the cave to the street as it was very natural and I could actually picture the transition. I also liked that you incorporated popular music flawlessly into the setting. I also believe the voices were very crisp and clear and really worked for the production. The only suggestions I have are: the SFX for the rats sounded a little unnatural to me. I at first wasn’t sure if they were seagulls, but I caught on really quick that they were still the rats. And Sam’s voice got a little lost only one time at the beginning when the rats were screeching. Also when they get out of the cave and into 1963, the voice that is yelling at them sounds a little unnatural, as if they’re standing really close together. I think if you moved the person who was yelling further away from the microphone and actually had them yell, it would sound more natural.
Story:
And overall the story was really good. There were some good jokes (ie. The Beatles are rubbish and won’t get anywhere) and the reference to Lucy Diamonds (and the Beatles). Once again great cliffhanger ending!
Overall awesomeness!
-Gwen
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